Sid Lowe - Guardian Unlimited
June 19, 2007 12:01 AMLights dimmed, fireworks exploded, and We Are The Champions replaced Star Wars, Old Spice and the Final Countdown, leaving one commentator ranting: "God, I hate Queen!" Over in the corner, a trapeze artist hung upside down inside a giant ball and rolled through the tickertape towards the middle of the pitch like a hamster. Thirty white flags, one for each of Madrid's league titles, replaced thousands of white hankies, fans took revenge for 2004, chanting: "Eto'o, cabrón, saluda al campeón!" (Eto'o, you arsehole, salute the champion!), and Fabio Capello actually managed to smile as he was given the bumps.
All the while, sofa-leaping simpleton Tom Cruise looked on frustrated, unable to see a thing from behind those bloody ridiculous shades. Which was a shame, because he was missing the biggest party Madrid has witnessed in four years, marking the end of the club's longest drought in over half a century, with Gonzalo Higuaín hanging from the crossbar, Mahamadou Diarra wearing an inflatable trophy-shaped turban, Fabio Cannavaro unfortunately unfurling a fascist flag and the rest of the Madrid squad neatly fulfilling national stereotypes, only to be let down by David Beckham: Raúl performed bullfighting passes and Robinho danced a Samba, but Goldenballs inexplicably passed on a pint and a fight.
Instead, while there was no sign of Míchel Salgado's kids, Raúl's nippers or Ruud van Nistelrooy's foals, Beckham led his children onto the pitch. There, a winner at last, he joined the rest of his team-mates worshipping Roberto Carlos - the true star departing Madrid last night - before boarding an open-topped bus to the fountain of Cibeles, where Raúl was lifted up in one of those boxes-on-a-stick used to rescue cats from trees and, with the help of two council workers miraculously not on their fag break, draped a flag over the goddess's shoulders. Down below, fans went bonkers, bored police pulled out big sticks and cars raced round beep-beeping, while clever blokes in white coats tried to work out how the hell it had all happened.
How could a team that suffered a historic hanky-wave end up as champions? How could the same fans that chanted for Capello to resign end up singing his praises? How could the team that was humiliated by Levante and Recreativo have finished top? How could a President who got it all so wrong end up getting it right?
The cliché says the best team wins the league, that over 38 matches luck evens itself out and consistency gets rewarded. Not this time, not when the top two finished level on points and the title was settled on head-to-head goal difference, when in almost any other league Barcelona would be champions. "It's been illogical," muttered El Mundo. "Madrid have ignored the most elementary of footballing principles. In every game for the last 10 months, their opponents have been the better side."
That's pushing it but Madrid have been let off the hook. Barça, racked by divisions, knackered by poor planning and stunted by a coach who thinks tactics are those little green and orange things, have conspired to keep Madrid in it, while Sevilla, forced to play 12 games more than Madrid, and Valencia, crippled from the start, have just not been able to keep the pace. It's helped that Madrid have had virtually no key injuries, while Samuel Eto'o and Leo Messi missed almost half the season, Valencia lost 15 players, and Sevilla have been running on empty with Frederick Kanouté struggling to the finish line a broken man (it is Sevilla's six 0-0 draws away from home that have really cost them the title).
It has also helped that Madrid have shown an incredible ability to secure victories without really doing anything to secure them. Even during their fantastic dash to the finish line, they have been balanced on a knife-edge and somehow managed not to slice their feet to bits. As one first teamer put it privately when asked what had changed: "Nothing. We've not exactly been out of this world; what we've been is very lucky."
Against Valencia it was 1-1 with the visitors' dominating when their best player, Joaquín, had to depart injured before a free-kick that never was led to Sergio Ramos's winner. Against Sevilla, Dani Alves somehow missed from two yards at 1-1 before Madrid scored twice in the final 12 minutes, winning 3-2. Against Espanyol, a last-minute goal from Higuaín secured an incredible comeback to make it 4-3 having been 3-1 down - just as Barça conceded a ridiculous last-minute equaliser to send Madrid top for the first time. Against Recreativo the following week, Roberto Carlos scored a last-minute winner, against Depor they came back from 1-1 to win 3-1, and against Zaragoza a late Van Nistelrooy equaliser incredibly coincided with Barça conceding to send Madrid back to the top.
So it was appropriate that Madrid should win the league as they did this weekend - by coming back from a goal down, having escaped when Varela wasted a glorious chance to make it two. And by doing so thanks to an own goal that went in off Angelos Basinas's backside, via the header of a man (Diarra) who didn't even want to play.
Yet it would be unfair to dismiss Madrid's title as entirely lucky. They have built a squad with depth which, for all his faults (and they are many), Capello has managed cleverly in key moments. They are physically strong, have shown a unity and togetherness conspicuous by its absence in recent years, and have demonstrated incredible faith in victory; last year's Madrid would have given up ages ago. Against Zaragoza, Madrid got a goal they deserved, against Recre, four men were involved in the 80-yard run that won the match in the last minute, and against Espanyol, Higuaín launched a desperate tackle to set up the winner. That is not solely chance. Madrid might not be the most brilliant of champions and they certainly are not the greatest football team in the world, but at least they are a football team. At last.
Results: Athletic 2 - 0 Levante [San Mamés saves Athletic], Celta 2 - 1 Getafe [But Stoichkov doesn't save Celta], Racing 0 - 2 Betis [Betis safe with two in the last ten minutes], Valencia 3 - 3 Real Sociedad, Espanyol 1 - 3 Deportivo, Recreativo 1 - 1 Zaragoza, Osasuna 1 - 2 Atletico [No Europe for Atlético. Again], Nastic 1 - 5 Barcelona, Real Madrid 3 - 1 Mallorca.
Champions: Real Madrid.
Champions League: Barcelona, Sevilla, Valencia.
Uefa Cup: Villarreal, Zaragoza.
Relegated: Nastic, la Real, Celta.
Pichichi (top scorer): Ruud Van Nistelrooy (Real Madrid)- 25
Zamora (goalkeeper with the lowest goals conceded-to-games played ratio): Roberto Abbondanzieri (Getafe).
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